If something is your fault, if you’ve caused hurt or offence, saying sorry is fine. But how often do we say sorry when we don’t need to?
If you want to express empathy for understanding, instead of “I’m sorry,” saying “I’m sorry to hear that” adds a bit more of an explanation as some people actually think you are apologizing in this situation. Of course, you could actually, you know, empathize. “That’s so tough”. Or express your own pain, “That makes me so sad”. It’s a good start to getting ‘sorry’ out of the way, and instead using it when you really need to.
If someone has been waiting for you, it is okay to apologize if you are running late. But if you tried everything you could to get there on time, you can say “thanks for waiting!” Saying thank you is very powerful and oftentimes makes a person feel good about themselves.
Saying sorry, on the other hand, pushes someone into a slightly superior elevation to you, albeit for a moment. But still, they then have to go through that act of forgiving, even if it is just “no worries” or “forget about it, it’s fine”. Sometimes that place isn’t always comfortable.
Some friends have visited you unannounced and your place is mess upon mess? You probably would have made it more presentable for them had you known, but as it happens in this kind of scenario – you don’t have to apologize! “Excuse the mess” could be appropriate here, or silence even.
And remember, don’t say sorry for giggling the way you do, misunderstanding something, or giving your opinion if it was asked for. Just all those little things that creep into every day routines. We say sorry too often, when actually; we’re okay! We’re good enough, and we’re trying the best we can. Reserve sorry for when you have caused hurt, in any way.
And that it folks!